Damned

Chuck Palahniuk

“Are you there, Satan? It’s me, Madison. I’m just now

arrived here, in Hell, but it’s not my fault excepts for

maybe dying from an overdose of marijuana. Maybe

I’m in Hell because I’m fat―a Real Porker. If you can

go to Hell for having low self-esteem, that’s why I’m

here. I wish I could lie and tell you I’m bone-thin with

blond hair and big ta-tas. But, trust me, I’m fat for a

really good reason.

      To start with, please let me introduce myself.”